A Well-Received Performance

Thanks to the Underwater Network at the University of Wellington for providing the digital recordings and vocalization translation below. Recordings were made off Kaikoura, New Zealand, November 25, 2011. Pictures are courtesy of A. Warner and Encounter Kaikoura.

The Performance Set

“Papahu, Papahu, wake up! Wake up the sleeping half of your noggin. It’s time. We can see the white pod on the horizon. Its full of quadrapuses and on a beautiful day like this, they will do a great show! Wake up!!”

“Ugh, wha?”...

“Wake up! The pod is coming!”

“Oh Terehu, I’m not sure I am up for a show, it’s a lazy morning, I might just prefer to nap… zzzz…”

“Papahu, you have to wake up! This is the only chance for a show for ten days now that the Council put on the summer participation quotas.”

“Oh, let me sleep, I was dreaming about mating with a couple of the beauts over in the next pod.”

“You can mate as much as you want the rest of the day but this is your only chance for 10 days to see the quadrapuses perform! This is special! And you might not get a nice day like this one again for a while. Remember yesterday?”

“What?... Yesterday?”

“I was chatting with Tupoupou and he had the quota ticket to watch the show yesterday. The seas were a bit rough but the pod came out anyway. The only problem was that almost none of the quadrapuses went in the water. They all stood on the edge of the pod and threw up into the water. It was gross. Tupoupou tried to get a bad weather postponement ticket as a result but the Council said no way. With a 1000 of us out here, none of us would ever get a turn if there were bad weather postponements given there is a limit of 100 of us participating each day.”

“Ok, ok, I am awake, where do we need to swim to to get the best view?”

“Oh my, Papahu, can’t you remember anything? We all agreed to the plan last evening that will get the best show. Don’t blow it.”

“Plan? What plan?”

The Pod

“Alright, I will repeat it one more time… We want to make sure the quadrapuses don’t just jump off the pod, swim around a lot, get tired and go home. That’s what happens if we go in and swim by them right away. I know it is a lot of fun to swim around the poor wretches but if we do that at the start, they tire and go home in a half hour. With a little planning we can draw out the show for an hour, and one day last week a group got them to perform for an hour and a half! So here is what we all agreed to do. We all swim out front together and get spotted. We linger right near them as the pod slows down so the black quadrapuses jump off the back of the pod and start swimming and performing. But, here is the trick!! You are not allowed to swim near them. Instead, back off out of sight and just listen, so they cannot see us. After a while they will go back on the pod and it will go looking for us again. We repeat the same process and we get to watch them jump off the pod again and then pile back on a little later when they can’t find us. Watching the on/off part is so cute. It is one of the best parts and we get to watch it multiple times this way. Now the third time they jump off, that is your first chance to swim around them and watch it all close up. By then they are real motivated to see us and they do their best show. Finally we need to pull away so that they can return to their pod and rest up for one more performance. If we all follow this plan, we get four shows for the price of one! Got it!”

“Ok, ok, yeah I do remember it all now. I’m game.”

“So we are all here in formation, jump to your spot, it’s the big double bodied white pod that is coming. Swim!... They see us… remember, don’t get too near them.”

…The double bodied white pod approaches, and 16 black skinned quadrapuses slide off the back into the water. They make a range of grunts, groans and squeaks to no avail. They head back to the pod. It moves on a bit and they slide off again with more splashing and vocalizations. But in their view, their performance again is unnoticed…

 A Performing Quadrapus

“Terehu, you’re right, they are pretty funny. Why do they swim like that? What a clumsy mess of tentacles. How come they are so awkward? And the noises… They sound like a bunch of sick seals.”

“Papahu, the fun has just begun! I must say it was really hard to keep away from them. I was laughing so hard I almost forgot to breathe. Ok, so here comes the pod again and this time we get to swim all around them when they slide off the pod. Follow me. I saw four really funny looking quadrapuses who were somewhat away from the rest of them. They were squeaking real loud and one of them has a whole lot of fur all over his head. He is really cute.”

…The quadrapuses slide off the pod once again, and to their pleasure and satisfaction, the audience appears and the quality of the performance improves…

“Check out the quartet. The big old one is awkwardly turning in circles as I swim around him. He is so slow. I was swimming around the outside, covering five times as much water as he while he was pivoting in the centre, and he still could not even come close to keeping up. And the noises coming from them, oh my.”

“Terehu, you cannot expect a lot from them, they are just quadrapuses and they do not seem to have much training, skill or sophistication. But they are amusing.”

“Oh, look at that one… She is trying to dive.. Ooops she only got three feet under and she floated back up like a swamped jellyfish. Ha ha. Lets swim real close by and see if we can get her to do it again… There you go, she did it twice. Wow!”

“Papahu, how come they have brightly coloured blow holes and feet, yellow, blue and green?”

Brightly Coloured Quadrapus Blowhole

“I am not sure, some think that they use the bright colours to attract the opposite sex. It is weird though, I have never seen them mate in the water.”

“Oops, the pod horn sounded and they are all headed back to the pod. With a bit of luck we can get one more performance out of them Papahu.”

The pod approaches the group again and once more the black quadrapuses slide off and begin the show…

“I think they are tiring Terehu. They are making less noises and they keep putting their heads out of the water and looking toward the pod. We have to keep swimming around them or they will quit on us.”

“Yea Papahu, the third performance was the best. But look over there. See the slim one. She swims better than the rest of them and has pretty big fins for her size. I think she has a bit of dolphin spirit in her. She is a pleasure to watch.”

I agree Terehu, she is smooth… Well, that’s it, they are all headed off back to the pod and then to their homes. Thanks for sharing the fun with me. I am headed off to find one of those beauts.

Editor’s Note: For quadrapuses interested in a behind the scenes look at the performance, go to http://www.dolphinencounter.co.nz/kaikoura/Dolphin_Welcome/. You could be a performing quadrapus someday too. It is an amazing and unforgettable experience.

The Audience Shows Its Appreciation